Room 223, Friday Afternoon

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie was not intending to leave her room today. Nope. Yesterday had been... a lot of things she didn't really feel like dealing with right now. And the way to not deal was to stay in her room. There was nothing cowardly about it. She just wasn't going to leave. Just for today.

Maybe the weekend.

Unable to really concentrate on any of her school stuff, she took a seat by her keyboard, intent on forcing herself to focus on something. Immersing herself into practice seemed to be a thing for that. And she was sticking to strictly classical pieces.

No pop. And no singing.

[ooc: Door closed, post open!]

Comments

[necroslacker]

"I'm not having hate sex with you," Sam told her, just cutting that off at the pass right now. "I like you too much for our first time to be like that."

[whenshewasnice]

Oh, yeah, that general sense of embarrassment was definitely starting to creep in now. Again. "Wouldn't have been hate sex anyway," she replied, pushing hair away from her face and glancing away. "More like... annoyed. Mildly."

[necroslacker]

"Do you just want me to leave?" Sam asked, figuring he was just making things worse by being here.

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie let silence fall for a moment, then glanced over at him again, managing some outward calm in her expression even if she wasn't quite feeling it.

"And if you leave now, how easy do you think it will be for you to come back?"

[necroslacker]

"What's that even mean?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. "What are you asking me?"

[whenshewasnice]

"I'm asking you," she replied, "how weird and awkward things will be later if we just leave everything like this and you leave now."

[necroslacker]

"I don't know," Sam said after a moment of thought. He shrugged. "I also don't know what you want from me right now. You've said a few things already that make me think you don't want me around. I thought you'd want me to leave."

[whenshewasnice]

"Told you to not take my words out of context," Natalie said, mildly. "Whatever you're thinking, I probably didn't mean like that."

[necroslacker]

"You know, you make that really hard sometimes because I don't know what you're thinking," Sam said immediately, almost sounding frustrated.

Almost.

"So, you can't say that to me like I'm automatically wrong because you don't know what I'm thinking and I don't think you really know how you come off to other people."

[whenshewasnice]

That much was definitely true. The problem was she often also didn't care how people perceived her.

Which made a situation like this problematic.

"I don't think you're stupid."

There, that was one thing she was pretty sure he was thinking.

[necroslacker]

He had been thinking that, yes. And he didn't know his shoulders had gotten tense again until they relaxed minutely after that admission of hers.

"Thank you," he said, nodding. "I appreciate that."

[whenshewasnice]

"I also don't think you don't know me." Well, that one was also easy because he'd already said as much. "You just don't know everything there is to know about me. Sometimes I'm harsh, in more ways than one."

Sometimes she needed to be.

[necroslacker]

"You don't know everything there is to know about me either so that goes both ways," Sam pointed out after a quiet moment. "So yeah, you're harsh sometimes, I get it. But it didn't feel right to me a few minutes ago. Sorry. I didn't wanna do something like that for the wrong reasons."

[whenshewasnice]

"And what would be the right reasons?"

That was just honest curiosity, at this point. They'd breached this subject, might as well talk about it.

[necroslacker]

"When it feels right," Sam replied easily. "Did that feel right to you a few minutes ago?"

[whenshewasnice]

"Yes." It probably wasn't what he would have preferred to hear, but she was being honest. She also knew her emotional stability today left a lot to be desired. "It did."

[necroslacker]

"I'm sorry then," Sam replied, glancing down at his feet to hide any reaction he had to that statement. "It didn't feel right to me."

[whenshewasnice]

"Add those up and it makes it wrong," Natalie concluded, watching him, though idly, like she wasn't really doing it. She was even blinking at regular intervals like a normal person. "Sorry."

For whatever it was that had him hiding... well, whatever it was that he was hiding.

[necroslacker]

"Nothing to be sorry for," Sam said, picking his head up and pushing his hands into his pockets now. "Agree to disagree, I guess."

He knew that he would have just felt...strange if he'd let things go on like they had been earlier. It wouldn't have felt right.

"No harm done."

[whenshewasnice]

"Nothing to disagree about," Natalie replied. In her mind, what felt right to her wouldn't always feel right for him and that was just a fact about differences in emotional response, not a disagreement.

She thought about things too hard. "No harm done."

Except the awkward, right now.

[necroslacker]

Yeah, there was some tension and some awkwardness right now. Sam didn't really know what to do about that though.

"Yeah."

Well, he'd never been eloquent.

[whenshewasnice]

That's about what Natalie had been expecting. And she didn't really know what to do with herself, either.

So for a moment, she just stood there, quiet. Then she sighed. "Can we just... cuddle?" she asked. "Or have we made that weird right now?"

[necroslacker]

Cuddle was one of those words that he never really expected her to say. When she did though, one corner of his mouth lifted in an attempt at a smile.

"We can cuddle," he said after a moment. "It's not weird. Maybe we should have started there."

[whenshewasnice]

Natalie was a closet romantic. Cuddling was in her vocabulary but didn't come out too often.

She held out a hand to him, not replying.

[necroslacker]

And he pulled one of his hands out of his pocket so he could twine his fingers with hers and push himself away from the door.

He didn't say anything either.